The Complete First SeasonDVD - 2011
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DAN: Oh, come on Rosie, you know girls always go for guys who remind them of their fathers.
ROSEANNE: Not if they listen to their mothers.
ROSEANNE: Oh, come on, I love bowling! It's the perfect workout. Six seconds of exercise, drink beer half an hour.
JACKIE: [while reading a newspaper] Roseanne, listen to this. "Utah Housewife Stabs Husband 37 Times".
ROSEANNE: I admire her restraint.
DARLENE: [frustrated about a school report on Betsy Ross] She was born, she sewed a flag, she died, I can't right four pages on that!
ROSEANNE: If my parents move to Lanford, I'm going to be sleeping on a cot for the rest of my life because I'm going to be in prison for blowing them away.
ROSEANNE: What's the worst that could happen? A tornado picks up our house and slams it down in a better neighborhood.
ROSEANNE: We gotta wait for your dad to park the car. Then we gotta hear the Epic Saga.
ROSEANNE: Darlene got her period last night.
JACKIE: No kidding? She's only 11.
ROSEANNE: I was 11 when I got my period.
JACKIE: Yeah, but you were already wearing a D-cup.
ROSEANNE: Yeah, two of them.
JACKIE: Remember when Mom brought home pamphlets from the Red Cross?
ROSEANNE: For two weeks, I thought what I had was a natural disaster.
DAN: Darlene, there's no easy way to make money. If there was, your mother would have found it by now.
DAN: (to Roseanne) What's this in my pocket? It could be? It might be? It is ... holy cow, it's a honeymoon! (hands Roseanne a brochure) Why yes, it's paradise.
JACKIE: Oh, another guy who thinks he's got paradise in his jeans.
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SummaryAdd a Summary
Roseanne and Dan Conner (a factory worker [for this first season] and a contractor respectively) are parents first and foremost as they raise their family on the little money they have in the realistically suburban landscape of Lanford, Illinois. They have three children: the smart and girly eldest daughter, Becky, who focuses on boys and popularity; Darlene, the sarcastic tomboy who shows fierce personality, much to her family's chagrin; and the youngest, a hygiene-challenged son named DJ (David Jr.), who just tries to be heard as the little male minority amongst his outspoken sisters and mother. Last but not least, Roseanne's single-and-ready-to-mingle sister Jackie intrudes on the family, but always with the best intentions. As former children of the sixties, Roseanne and Dan just try to keep their sanity and raise their children with love and compassion in a way that fits with their values, without becoming preachy duplicates of their own parents. Supporting cast and guest stars include many fantastic comedic talents, including a twenty-something George Clooney. The show grows and matures as the family does, dealing with "life and stuff", as the sitcom's original title suggests.
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