The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages

The Secret to Love That Lasts

Book - 2010
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Dr. Chapman explains how people communicate love in different ways, and shares the wonderful things that happen when men and women learn to speak each others' language.
Publisher: Chicago : Northfield Pub., 2010, c2009
ISBN: 9780802473158
Characteristics: 201 p. ; 23 cm
Alternative Title: Five love languages


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Oct 15, 2020

Such a life changing read! The journey towards a meaningful and healthy relationship where both partners' needs are met is simplified and achievable in this book. Check out the variations geared towards children, students, teenagers, men and even those who are single!

Oct 06, 2020

This book offers an interesting approach to interpersonal communication. I like that the focus was not on treating others the way you want to be treated, but treating them the way they want to be treated. I also appreciated the suggestions and insights on how to speak the other's love language.

The reading style is fine. It's dominated by personal anecdotes, making for a practical if less engaging read. My one major caution is that the author is very Christian and his faith informs his writing. There's nothing inherently wrong with that - I'm Gnostic and had no trouble following or appreciating the case studies - but some of the marriages he describes sound dangerous. Each one inevitably ends with a "happily ever after", which worries me as it might encourage individuals in dangerous relationships to stick it out under the naive assumption that things will improve in time. I don't know for sure if the author's faith biased him against divorce, but I'd feel more comfortable recommending this book if it included a section on when you should leave, and validating divorce and separation as a difficult but worthwhile choice for some couples that cannot make it work.

Oct 15, 2019

Chapman offers a lot of great insights into navigating challenging relationships and deepening existing ones. I will forever take these concepts into my personal, professional, and romantic life.

I gave this book a lower rating because of Chapman's blatant homophobia and bioessentialism. There are numerous times throughout the book where he states that relationships worthy of love and marriage are between male and female partners. There is no acknowledgment that relationships outside this could exist. Chapman also insists that repairing the relationship with one's parents is essential to having successful relationships elsewhere. While this is a worthwhile sentiment, the book fails to acknowledge that these relationships can also be abusive, damaging, and stressful to a point that is not worth pursuing.

All of this said, I think that the concepts are worthwhile. So if you can ignore the homophobia and stressful notions about the sanctity of family, it could be useful.

Aug 23, 2019

Love and its mysteries have been something human kind has been trying to understand for eternity. The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts by Gary Chapman, offers a slice of understanding specifically for married couples. Geared towards individuals who lost that spark in the relationship, this book offers a chance to rekindle the flame by expressing affection through channels that would be understood by the other party. Through use of examples and repetition, Gary Chapman drives home the idea that love is a choice and offers suggestions to choose to love your spouse. Now, I am not it’s intended audience as personally I’ve not been married or had such issues. So, looking at the text for it’s content I found the formatting distracting. There are bubbles with bolded text of key phrases that will appear later in the chapter but does not flow well with the rest of the structure seen in the book. The use of repetition almost feels like filler as he does not offer different suggestions to readers but the same suggestion in a different angle. As a very religious follower, the use of Christianity and biblical versus are referenced in the book. This isn’t a criticism so much as a warning to those who don’t follow those teachings. After reading this novel, it’s easy to determine that the ideal reader is a middle-class citizen in their mid-forties looking for romantic inspiration. And for those individuals this book is a perfect solution. But for those who are not within that bracket, you’d be better off looking for the different versions of this book. The examples used I’m sure would be more applicable to you then. Through reading this book I’ve determined I could solve any love crisis using lists, which is a method he uses at almost every possible instance. For those reasons, I believe it could be a much shorter book. However, for the content to fall in love after the “in-love” experience is gone of a married relationship, this book is worth a read.

Jun 17, 2019


Apr 30, 2019

What a book! Great insight into others and yourself.

ArapahoeKati Feb 07, 2017

I hadn't really thought about the idea of "love languages" before, but it made a lot of since. I realized how I speak my own love language to friends and family, but I didn't realize that I wasn't getting it back in the way I needed to be fulfilled and happy, especially in relationships. Recommended!

Mar 14, 2016

This is a great eye opener for relationships :).

I would most definatly say read it as it gives a lot of helpful tips, all easy to understand and relate to.

Jan 22, 2016

5 Love Languages is a well-known relationship book that looks at the core of our personalities and actions and tells us how to best love our partner.

I finally bought this book because I wanted to better understand my husband and our relationship. This book was insightful and encouraging, and helped me face my fears that I am a nag. (I am not a nag, I ask for a different kind of love called “Acts of Service”).

KC Rating: 5/5

For anyone who is looking for a relationship book, or wants to better their marriage, I recommend 5LL. It is a quick read and the personal example and stories shred from other couples will help you realized that its not just you who ever feels alone and confused. This book has dramatically changed the way I love my husband, and our communication has grown much clearer!

I read his physical book, which I bought at Chapters.

Dec 23, 2015

One of the best books I have ever read regarding relationships. It teaches you how other people express and accept love. I have strengthened so many relationships and dissolved conflicts from this book's advice. I recommend it to everyone and have bought it for my friends and family.

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