Seducing Mr. Heywood: ZERO star. I could not pass the fourth page. And here is the reason (SPOILER): “He stepped forward somewhat eagerly to greet her, too eagerly, as he unfortunately caught the toe of his boot on a rucked-up end of Oriental carpet. He pitched forward, spilling the contents of his drink in a great, wide arc that splattered a rich umber stain over Sophia’s bosom […]. The glass flew, shattering in glittering shards on the polished wood floor […]. Charles Heywood extended his arms to steady himself, even as he lost his footing and landed heavily upon Lady Sophia, knocking her to the floor. An ominous ripping sound was heard and Charles’ left hand inadvertently grasped the bodice of Lady Sophia’s dress, tearing it below the high waistline. Lady Sophia’s bosom, creamy white and wondrously full, was exposed before Charles fell upon her, yada, yada, yada.” Never mind that women then wore corsets and undershirts under their dresses! Besides, the scene is so ridiculous it couldn’t have possibly been meant to be funny! Then there is the absurd scene when a housemaid answered the lady’s call instead of the butler? Housemaids would turn their back and flatten themselves against a wall if they accidentally crossed with their masters while working around the house, they were to remain invisible. I gave up right then and there.
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